Do Expat Men Suck?A new blog called China Dirt lets expat women dish the dirt on the abundance of un-dateable expat men in China.
Expat women in China are having a hard time trying to find decent bachelors. In order to relieve their emotional burden, these women are filtering their rage into the blogosphere's newest trend: rant blogs. This modern day cyber therapy features women who rant about the sexpats they meet in China and the ensuing relationship horror stories.
China Dirt, a group of women who understand how cathartic it can be to anonymously disclose your dating experiences gone awry to a whole web of strangers, contributes to the rant blog circle by inviting women to dish their dirt:
So he invited me back to his apartment to watch "Apocalypto" (which is the worst date movie EVER, btw) ... and by "apartment," he meant skanky dorm room. Almost immediately upon entering ... he almost toppled me over in an attempt to marry his tongue to my tonsils.
Me: "What's the rush?"
TP: "I can't have girls over in my dorm after 11, but I just wanted to express my feelings."
Besides silhouetting the likes of slackers and sexhounds, rant blogs also give advice and warnings about the dating battlefield in China:
To the FindingHimselfMen out there I say:
FIND some maturity by getting a real job. And no, filing one story a week to an unnamed newspaper back home, occasional modeling as the token white boy in some baijiu billboard and “tutoring” Chinese college girls does not count!
Chinabounder, a self-proclaimed Western scoundrel living in Shanghai, is one factor that drove these women to speak out on the web. His candid blogs have angered many and after Professor Zhang's call to castrate him, he took a haiatis from blogging. He's now back in action and ready for a new year with posts like this gem: At the end of every course I teach, I tell the students my e-mail is available on the university website, so that they can ask me for help with their compositions, job applications and the like. Mostly I do this because I am aware my earning power is much greater than theirs … But the other reason is that it is a convenient way to hit on the female students that catch my eye … the whispered word as they leave, ‘Keep in touch.’
And it's not just Chinabounder who whole heartedly prefers Chinese women to their Western sisters:
Look, I think I’m a smart, attractive, successful guy, but dating back home was a continuous assault on my ego as woman after woman—many depressingly average—decided I wasn't good enough to date or sleep with. Now I'm living in East Asia and young local women who are so sexy they could walk unquestioned into the most exclusive clubs back home [are interested in me] … So, no, I'm not interested in dating Western expat women. Not one bit.
Guys like these often seemlessly blend in with the small percentage of men who are actually worth dating, so it seems the only option is to go forth and date, then laugh or cry afterwards while blogging about the experience on China Dirt. In the meantime, enjoy the rant blogs; they may shock and disgust, but they never cease to entertain.
In fairytales, the toad turns into a prince after a kiss. In Beijing, the prince turns into a toad.
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of course Of course you didn't understand anything. The point is that we women, as much as you men, need dating and sex in our lifes. As you can't date chinese men, you have to try to find one out of a thousand expats who is not one of those, i.e. you have to keep trying.
Still dont get it Why can't you date Chinese men? Don't speak Chinese? No interest to learn? What are you doing in China? As for finding the one in a thousand expat men who is not a jerk, why do you care what the 999 jerks are doing? Or you would like to have a jerk yourself and resent the fact you can't get one?
what a crock this article is worthless. i believe most expat men are happy to get away from this non-stop introspective victim oriented tripe. could it be that something is wrong with the woman perhaps?? something that precludes her from attracting the 'right' person?? alas it's much easier to be the victim and blame an entire community of expat men than to take honest stock of one's shortcomings...kudos to CW for taking a loose collection of shared experiences and purporting them to be the norm. guess that's why your rag is free.
Expat losers I've lived in the US, Europe, most part of Asia, Vietnam, Shanghai and now BJ.
Well we learned never to generalize, but there are this minor group of expats who seriously think they god-sent to women! They dressed up in 'nice suits' , speak loudly and acted as if China owes them a living! Totally insensitive to those around them and not respecting local culture. Basically arrogant and totally not realising that they are only seconds away from being 'nailed' by unhappy locals looking for such bad behaviours! "Get Lost" is the message to those expat losers! For the nice ones, mos welcome to stay and enjoy the culture.
Fat Cow... you're an idiot... and probably a fat cow But lucky for you you're in China so your many faults are probably glossed over!
In my experience girls tend to blame themselves far more than they do the guys when the relationship doesnt work. It seems in China it takes girls about two weeks to get over a relationship while it takes guys oh... about two Tsing Taos.
What it really boils down to is this question: If you only encounter troubles with dating and meeting the "right" men in China then is it really you or is it the place?
Guys in China are held far less accountable than they would be in their home countries; combine that with a grossly disportionate ratio of datable women to datable men (which, to clarify, skews in favor for the men) and you get arrogant guys strutting around with enflated egos. Why don't you take a look at the behavior of your fellow men before you start spouting on about how it's not true.
hey soda bitter much??
hey fatcow Rather than defaulting to saying I'm bitter why don't you try to come up with a better counterargument? Oh wait, it's probably because you can't since what I stated is generally true.
I love how some guys pretend everything they don't like to hear is somehow a fabrication. "It's not flattering towards me so it MUST be a lie."
enough with the animosity so i express an opinion you don't agree with, no big deal, just make your point and move on. really a counterargument?? on a lifestyle magazine website? fine. in brief and then let's agree to disagree...we both have better things to do.
most of the guys i know and consider friends are not the ego-flated animals you refer to. rather it seems a disproportinatley small number of idiots result in this general stereoype of male expat a**holes. sure there is a portion of the community out there but i would argue it is no larger/smaller than back in the west. it is only magnified here...in my opinion.
What's the deal?? While it's true, some expat men come to China/Asia and act like real jerks, how can western women here start complaining if they don't give Chinese men a try?? Not all Chinese men are 'undateable' , a lot are articulate, well educated or even overseas experienced and educated and extremely gentlemanly, or are these women still just carrying on a superiority complex that have towards Asian men back in their home country? If that's the case then stop your whining. Until these girls open their minds and see what else is out there, then no sympathy for you. Anyway, as you say, if your male counterparts are such jerks, could you do any worse? I think not
Another perspective Seems like people keeps circling around the same few arguments – all of which can’t be won by a type off; two additional thoughts to add to mix though before an official draw is called. Although I read the blog (and find it quite entertaining), there’s something to the idea of making rumor reality. If western women hold men to higher standard and just did their own thing regardless of a couple of lousy dates, things might change – if not they have some good stories to tell and their own lives, so who cares? If we keep the idea around that western women are always the victims of a bad dating scene, they probably will stay that way.
Secondly, you find that the dating scenes in many cities around the world with large white collar transient populations have similar reputations – bad ones. Not rocket science why. If you’re not going to stay somewhere for a while, why settle down? This is especially true if your flings hold different color passports than you do – pretty common in Shanghai. Here’s where the problem comes in: most girls I know take dating scenes like Shanghai’s and decide to date now and deal with residence issues later. Guys on the other hand look for, um, less permanent options. Why get into a relationship now when your visa has an expiration date? There’s no argument from me that there are some serious douchebags out there (and some women who need attitude adjustments), but try to also think of it as generally different way of coping with the same situation.
what's the deal 2 ahh... don't get all philosophical and boring on me, I'm enjoying being up on the soapbox
Hang On Everybody hold your horses!!! Wait wait...when you guys said "expat men", does it include all men from all around the world, or just WHITE dudes?? 'cause from what I read, these "expats" certainly sounded white, no offense!
of course it's the white devil....who else is responsible for the majority of heinous acts purpotrated on the innocent and defenseless of the world?
Nifty, no offense, but I have been warned by many Chinese men NOT to date Chinese men..... How absurde is that, huh? Now I'm just going to quote what they said, this is not coming from me but from Chinese men might I remind you..: "Don't date Chinese men, they are all pigs, they will try to dominate you and will hurt you. [your feelings]" "Girl, really watch out, don't let Chinese guys approache you, they're a bunch of a--holes, really, I just want your best, but don't date Chinese guys" Now, coming from 2 Chinese guys with basic Chinglish from one and very good English from another, am I supposed to feel safe in dating Chinese guys? how am I supposed to react? Could a Chinese guy try and figure out why this came up (coming from totally 2 diffrent guys and diffrent circle of friends might I say)
dunno meboubou. don't know these guys you know, but taking the opinions of two Chinese guys as gospel regarding a whole demographic is cutting off your options don't you think? and I wonder why they would denigrate a group of people of which they are part. the most they could say is that SOME Chinese guys can be scumbags, but from what I've read and seen here, girls couldn't do any worse. i'd say girls could potentially be missing out on a lot of fun if they dismissed the whole lot in one go
I know that I shouldn't take this as gospel, but it does end up making me beware a bit more, and yes, why would they do that? I don't know... But surely, if they warned me it wasn't for nothing. On the other hand, yes I beware more, but I don't give up the possibility of dating Chinese men.... (By the way, never said girls couldn't be worst, foreign or Chinese!)
It makes me so sick to see so many fat, ugly, old white men hanging out with young, attractive Chinese girls. I, myself, am an Asian woman, and I am totally open to cross-racial couples. It’s just that 98% of these couples are dating not based on love, but on money or sex. Shanghai is such a disgusting place where so many gold diggers are running around to sleep with foreigners and where so many white trash/losers from their home countries are so desperate to get laid. Why don’t you guys get a life? So pathetic…paying somebody to sleep with you. All those disgusting massage places and hand jobs, etc. Seriously some foreign guys think they are the kings in China where they can get cheap drivers, maids, luxury apartments, etc. I bet most of them weren’t able to afford at home. PATHETIC!!!
it's the media the does it. combined with insecurity. western movies, advertising, print, usually depicts western men as being top dogs (which by inference suggests others are inferior) even hollywood actors say so. but at least in China, other nationalities have a chance with local girls. in Hong Kong it's a real problem. Many local girls there reject their own kind = their own race as inferior so pity the poor guys trying to meet someone. it's rejecting who they are actually. From what I've noticed, here, girls are more democratic and have more sense at least. maybe they are not embarrassed about being Chinese I think
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In the rest of the world, US men are highly prized as mates, dates, boyfriends and husbands.
This is widely known.
What is also widely known is how terrible the US women treat their men, and how sexually deprived many US men are.
You just don't get it. Men are in places like China specifically because of women just like you and the attitude you displayed in your CW.CN article.
They are tired of the endless whinging and demands and attitude that they are not good enough and the woman just barely tolerates him.
Strangely, most US expat women don't adapt their behaviors even when confronted with the reality of why they are having a hard time getting dates with expat men.
You would rather whinge that do what it took to get and keep a man, because all of those traits are seen by you as oppression, slavery, unworthy of you, etc.
You might learn a lot from emulating the Chinese women who date US expats.
@jeeunit
Please understand that I am not condoning the behaviour you mentioned only saying that it is a two way street.
For every fat expat looking to get/pay for some there are more than enough willing locals to satisfy.
You say "get a life" to the men? Ok.
I say "get some self-respect" to the women.
@fatcow blame on both men and women but definitely have a sympathy for those women who need money to survive (fuwuyuans working in massage parlors. don't you know how much money they get paid a month? they're mostly from outside of Shanghai, uneducated. it's not easy for them to get a job except working at places like that)
Shame on fat, old men who are married, but looking for sex. Even if women are not doing just to survive (there are just local girls looking to date relatively well-off expats), 99.9999% of women dating or having sex with fat, old white guys are singles.
Interesting that what US expat women do when confronted with competition and men who won't date them, is that they often complain, belittle, shame and manipulate even more.
Perhaps you could learn something from the women who date US expat men in China.
Maybe you need to look in the mirror and see what you need to improve or change in your character and behavior.
funnily enough. if western women don't want to date Chinese men, they should actually be working with them, since their incentives, while different, are aligned.
Dont get it Ummm....don't quite get it. If the expat women think these guys are such losers, why do they care what they do...or what silly local girls let them get away with?